The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade

Thoughts

Highlights

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AT THE FUNERAL   D. HARLAN WILSON

• [N] Ok this shit is hilarious

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ANT COLONY   ALISSA NUTTING

• [N] A story about a doctor that's in love with his patient, a famous model. He fills her with ants that consume her body, eventually implanting the ants which have become the woman in his own body.

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When space on earth became very limited, it was declared all people had to host another organism on or inside of their bodies. Many people chose something noninvasive, such as barnacles or wig-voles. Some women had breast operations that allowed them to accommodate small aquatic life within implants. But because I was already perfectly-breasted (and, admittedly, vain) I sought out a doctor who, for several thousanddollars, drilled holes into my bones to make room for an ant colony.

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The ants were first implanted within my spine, where their food supply was injected monthly, but then they quickly moved throughout the other various pathways that had been drilled into my limbs and even my skull.

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I was very used to people feeling like they were more important than me, but less beautiful. I often felt that every transaction in my life somehow revolved around this premise.

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My wrist was smooth and fragrant and pale and had a nicotine patch on it; the doctor had suggested I quit smoking for the health of the ants.

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It is calming, to look through the eyes of another person. It stills your own thoughts almost to a halt.